We humans are adorable. We crave love, jonesing for it desperately like a junkie seeking out the next fix, yet most of us have no idea how to love and be loved. Why? Because our original teachers, our parents, usually didn’t know how to really love us either. Instead of growing up with childhood lessons that guide our Love School curriculum as thoroughly as we learn our K-12 education, most of us were fed a laundry list of lies about what love is and is not, based on a romanticized Disney princess notion of love. As you get older, the media reinforces it with romantic comedy movies, love stories in books, and pornography’s graphic images of how sex is supposed to be. No matter how big your heart is, if you believe love is what you are shown in the media, you are going to wind up disillusioned. If you add to the media’s distorted view the screwed up messages about love and sex that arise from the church, the patriarchy, and the conditioning of a confused culture, it’s no wonder we grow up feeling disoriented and disappointed, suffering from what Christine Hassler calls an “expectation hangover.” Love disappoints us over and over again. But is that thing that disappoints us really love? I don’t believe so.
As I prepare for the February 12 due date of my new book baby The Daily Flame: 365 Love Letters From Your Inner Pilot Light, I’m releasing a series of blogs intended to help you connect to this source of divinity within each of us. In “What Is Your Inner Pilot Light,” I shared with you just a bit of what is possible when you shift your center of gravity toward a life led by your Inner Pilot Light. In “The Most Common Reason You Can’t Sense Your Inner Pilot Light’s Guidance,” we talked about what interferes with most people’s connections to this reliable, trustworthy inner healer, mentor, companion, beloved, and guidance system, which I call your Inner Pilot Light. In “The Crucial First Step To Letting Your Inner Pilot Light Make Your Decisions,” I talked about one essential practice that will get you started on leading an Inner Pilot Light-led life.
In the acknowledgments of my new book The Daily Flame: 365 Love Letters From Your Inner Pilot Light (preorder it here), I wrote this. “I might never have come into close contact with my Inner Pilot Light were it not for the guidance, illumination, and love of my mentor Rachel Naomi Remen. When I first met Rachel, she told me that she recognized me, but that the part of me she recognized only had about 28% stock in the company of Lissa. ‘Maybe if we hang out together,’ she told me, ‘the part of you I recognize can get 51% stock. All you need is 51% stock in a company to make all the decisions.’ I now understand that the part of me Rachel recognized was the part I later came to call my Inner Pilot Light. I still don’t know whether that part has 51% stock in the company of Lissa, but at least I hear the voice of that wise, old part of me, and I am forever grateful to Rachel for recognizing something in me and fertilizing it until it started to blossom.”
As we get closer to the publication date of my new book The Daily Flame: 365 Love Letters From Your Inner Pilot Light, I’ll be releasing a series of blogs intended to help you connect to this source of divinity within each of us. In "What Is Your Inner Pilot Light," I shared with you just a bit of what’s possible when you shift your center of gravity toward a life led by your Inner Pilot Light. Now I’d like to guide you through understanding what interferes with most people’s connections to this reliable, trustworthy inner guidance system, which we all have, but which you may have trouble sensing or interpreting.
In this blog, I wrote about The Paradox: We can Heal Ourselves, But We Can’t Do It Alone. In the wake of losing my mother last year, I am in the midst of doing the most intensive trauma healing work I’ve ever done in my life. If you’ve lost a parent, you know how triggering it is to experience such deep loss. You also know how that loss touches you in places you aren’t ready to be touched until the parent you’re loyal to has left the planet. Both of my parents are gone now, so there’s nobody here left to tell me it’s not okay to explore the dark recesses of my childhood or to interpret my healing work as disloyal to my effusive love for both of my parents, who I loved and who I miss desperately.
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