In Part 1 of this 5 part blog series about manifesting your dreams in a more feminine way, I discussed how pushing/ striving/ working your ass off – being “spermy” – isn’t always the most joyful or most effective way to operate when you’re trying to bring a desire into being. Instead, I examine how being “eggy” by letting what you desire come to you might be an alternate strategy. In Part 2 of the series, I examined popular “law of attraction” notions in relation to such an idea and concluded that your intentions – and whether your desires are in service to the greater good – make all the difference.
In Part 3 here, I’m writing to all you skeptics out there, who think being eggy is for sissies, that striving less, playing more, taking time off, setting goals but surrendering attachment to outcomes, and trusting that the Universe will do most of the heavy lifting for you if only you align your desires with what is in the highest good for all beings is a recipe for failure.
In this post, I’m going to tell you a story about my own eggy adventure.
A Vision To Heal Health Care
For several years now, I’ve been gestating the seed of an idea that I might be a force for healing in our broken health care system, and that somehow, this might involve working with doctors. (I wrote about the details of my vision to heal health care here.) It seems an improbable vision. Our health care system is so broken it feels hopeless sometimes. What can one person do to help heal a system as sick as the U.S. health care system? How would such a healing happen? Was there anything I was supposed to do to help heal health care?
I had no clue.
But I can see the healing of our health care system in my mind’s eye. I can feel it wanting to come into being, not just in my own imagination, but in the imagination of patients and doctors alike. In some cosmic way, it’s so real it almost feels like it’s already happened and the pieces of the puzzle that will solve this health care problem are just waiting to fall into place.
But where does that leave me? What am I supposed to do about it?
For years, when I prayed about this question, the answer I got was “Do nothing,” which resulted in a lot of eye-rolling on my part. What’s a spermy visionary on a mission supposed to do with those kinds of instructions?
A team of people who share my vision even found their way to me, armed with ideas of what I might do to help bring this vision to life. One thought I should start a pilot medical practice that would serve as a model for other medical practices, one that could be studied and written up in medical journals and replicated across the globe. But when I asked my Guidance, the answer was “Do nothing.”
Another thought I should start an online forum and invite the tribe of patients, doctors, nurses, alternative health care providers, and wellness coaches to pledge their allegiance to this mission and gather together to try to solve the puzzle. But once again, my Guidance said, “Do nothing. Await further instructions from me. Let the solutions come to you.”
Someone else wanted me to host a series of teleconferences with MD leaders like my colleagues and friends Larry Dossey, Bernie Siegel, Christiane Northrup, Rachel Naomi Remen, Mark Hyman, Frank Lipman, and Deepak Chopra. Someone else wanted me to host a big conference, gathering together all the forces for change in health care and inviting as conference attendees those who long to help heal health care. But that felt so spermy – details to coordinate, requests to make, attendants to sign up. It felt like grasping and striving and too much damn work to add to my already full schedule.
Once again, the Guidance said, “Do nothing. Yet. But soon, it will be time to do something. I’ll let you know when it’s time.”
It’s Uncomfortable For Spermy People To Get Eggy
By this point, I was fully committed to being a force for change in health care, but only if I could do it in an eggy way. It became crystal clear to me that the masculine paradigm in health care had been effective, up to a point. And now it was time to embrace a more feminine, eggy way of being in health care. I couldn’t be part of reclaiming the feminine in health care by operating in a spermy way. As uncomfortable as it is, I would have to trust that, if my vision of healing health care is in alignment with the greater good, the Universe will fall over Itself bringing solutions to me, the initially reluctant but now willing servant of such a mission.
To say that this has not been easy for me is the understatement of the century.
I am freakin’ awesome at being spermy. I know it well. It’s my comfort zone. To try to be eggy in the face of something that matters this much to me has been practically impossible. I’ve had to sit on my hands, resist picking up the phone, spend hours in meditation, and make frantic calls to my spiritual counselor to keep from falling into old spermy patterns when my faith starts to lag.
This has been going on for years – 7 ½ years, to be exact, since the idea that I might help heal health care, rather than being a part of how sick it is, first occurred to me. That’s longer than my daughter has been alive and twice as long as I’ve been blogging! It’s been an exercise in Divine timing, but even more so, an exercise in trust.
A Lesson In Trust
After years of Guidance telling me to do nothing, all the sudden, in October 2012, my Guidance started throwing stuff at me right and left. It was coming in so fast and furious I couldn’t interpret the Signs from the Universe. I had to step out of my daily life, go on retreat to Esalen in Big Sur, and create enough space for the message to come through.
I wrote about the whole mystical experience here, but in essence, my Guidance (who I call Sebastian, by the way – you can read why here) was lovingly telling me to sit down, shut up, and take dictation for one email entitled “Calling All Conscious Physicians.”
So I sat on a wooden chair on a cliff overlooking the Pacific, got super quiet, and heard, clear as a voice sitting next to me, a voice telling me what to write. Fortunately, I’m a super duper fast typist, and I was able to just barely keep up with what Sebastian told me to write.
Relieved that there was finally action to be taken, I then asked Sebastian what I was supposed to do with this email. The maddening answer I received was, “Do nothing. Await further instructions,” to which I promptly – and respectfully, of course, – screamed, “F*CK YOU!” (Fortunately, Sebastian and I swear at each other all the time and nobody takes it personally.) Sebastian was patient with me and assured me, in the most loving, calming voice ever, that everything was handled, that I have nothing to worry about, that it’s all happening in perfect timing, that my vision was already on its way to coming to fruition, and that the process need not be stressful or exhausting or scary, that in fact, it would be joyful and fulfilling and lucrative and filled with unimaginable blessings.
I breathed. And decided to, yet again, do nothing and trust.
Fast Forward One Week
That all happened on a Monday, and exactly one week later, I was chatting on the phone with my new friend and Find Your Calling business partner Martha Beck, and I was telling her about what had happened at Esalen and how my Guidance had told me to write an email to doctors, inviting them to be part of the healing of health care. She then asked me to tell her more about the email I had written.
I gave her the details about how I was seeking 15 physicians who would become leaders in this movement to heal health care – not that I knew what I’d do with them should they raise their hands and claim their place as health care revolutionaries! Then Martha suddenly sprang to action. With a voice more animated than I had ever heard her speak, Martha said, “You’ll bring them to my ranch and we’ll teach them together how to be forces for change in healing health care!” (She just bought a big ranch in Central California with the intention of transforming it into a retreat center and healing the healers, though she too had been awaiting further instructions on her eggy adventure of being a force for change in the world.)
Suddenly, very eggy Martha was pure sperm, spouting off details about dates and curriculum and where these doctors would sleep and how much we’d charge and how she’d bring in her horse-whisperer friend Koelle and how all these doctors would go out and amplify our collective visions, like threads of a web covering the earth.
While Martha planned, I sobbed. I had just been given further instructions – and it had only taken 7 days.
(If you’re a physician raising your hand and saying “Me! Me! Me!” or if you know a physician who would like to be a force for change in healing health care, please email email@example.com and I’ll make sure you get more details when Martha and I finalize our plans.)
Can You Still Succeed If You’re Being Eggy?
Martha’s book Finding Your Way In A Wild New World is full of case studies that demonstrate that not only can you succeed, you can succeed wildly when you’re in service to healing the world in your own unique way. Even though I have read her book twice now, I needed to begin to experience it myself in order to trust that, not only is being eggy more fun and more restful than being spermy, it’s actually proving to be way more effective in my own mission, business and life.
Don’t believe me? Start trying yourself. In Part 4 of this blog series, I’ll be discussing the techniques Martha uses to help people be more eggy when they’re manifesting their dreams, so make sure you’re on my newsletter list so you don’t miss out.
Do You Trust That Being Eggy Can Work For You?
Share your successes. Confess your doubts. I always love hearing from you.
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