It’s so easy to get hooked into the fairytale. Boy meets girl. (Or girl meets girl. Or boy meets boy. I do live in San Francisco.) One sweeps the other off her dainty glass-slippered feet. She surrenders herself to his warm embrace, and they live happily-ever-after in a castle.
Except that his mother abandoned him when he was a child, so he’s got Mommy issues. And her father was an alcoholic who molested her, and twenty years of therapy haven’t quite healed the wound. He comes from a family of martyrs and she comes from a family of victims, so they fit each other like hand in glove. You complete me.
Romantic love can be an incredible blessing. It’s an opportunity to practice intimacy and revel in the communion of two souls. It’s a chance for our souls to grow, to learn, and to mirror back to each other the Divine spark within us.
The Love We Really Crave
But beware the pitfalls of romantic love. So many in our culture suffer from what the shamans call “soul loss,” the condition that afflicts us when we’ve become disconnected from our own souls and the Oneness of life. When we suffer from soul loss, we feel within us a void, a hole, and we try to fill that void with the wrong stuff- food, sex, alcohol and drugs, excessive busyness, and…yes…romanticized ideals of love.
“You Complete Me” Is A Trap
As long as we’re seeking another person to fill the hole that comes from our own disconnection with the soul, we’re doomed to failure in our love lives. The whole “You complete me” myth makes us misty at the movies, but in real life, it’s disastrous. Romantic love only works when two complete beings lift up their wholeness in Divine union. Yes, we have Soul Mates in this world. If you believe in past lives, then perhaps these people are the ones we’ve traveled many lifetimes with, so when we meet, we have karma together. We look into each other’s eyes, and we simply know each other. It’s seductive to meet these people. You feel an instant connection, and you don’t know why. It’s easy to get swept away because the intimacy can feel very intense, very quickly.
But it can also be yet another trap, if what you’re trying to fill with the intimacy of a soul connection is the hungry ghost you can never feed, the void of soul loss. Read More→