Every relationship in your life is a sacred contract, and whether you’re aware of it or not, you’ve made agreements with the people in your life, the ones who will be your greatest teachers. We often make these contracts without being mindful of what we’re agreeing to. For example, in my sacred contract with my husband, we made an unspoken deal. I had just gotten out of an abusive marriage, and what I needed from him was safety and the certainty that he’d never hurt me the way I had been hurt before. My hubby, on the other hand, had spent much of his life trying to please people he loves with achievements (the man has many graduate degrees and was about to get another one when I first met him.) I agreed to love him without expecting him to achieve anything. He agreed to keep me safe.
For ten years, that contract served us well. He held me safely in a cocoon so I could heal and embark upon the crazy wild journey I’ve been on for the past six years. In return, I did my best to hold up my end of the bargain. It’s worked well for us for a decade.
But contracts get stale. We evolve. Growth happens, and in time, most contracts need to be renegotiated. Lately, we’ve been doing just that in such a beautiful way and our relationship is all the richer because we’re willing to write a fresh contract aligned with our highest truth and the integrity of our love for each other and what our souls are now ready to learn together.
In fact, I’ve been renegotiating almost every sacred contract in my life since realizing that I had made agreements with many people that implied that they were supposed to read my mind, know what I desired and needed, and demonstrate their love to me by meeting my needs without me communicating what they are. In return, I was supposed to read their minds as well.
Needless to say, such agreements haven’t been going well. Turns out I suck as a mind-reader, and wouldn’t you know it, my loved ones aren’t so hot at reading mine. What ensues is unmet expectation and repetitive disappointment all around, which seriously sucks.