The sun was rising over the mountains as I hiked up to the Muir Beach Overlook to center myself and ground into Mother Earth before a full day one-on-one session with one of my Visionary Mentoring Program clients. The ocean was serene, still and waveless, after many stormy days of high winds. The air was silent, pregnant with promise. A few weeks had passed since my mother had been diagnosed with an “incurable” kind of stage 4 cancer, so life had been heavy for some time. Yet something about this morning felt light. A calm quietude fell over the sea.
I have a dream that we will bring the care back to health care. I have a dream that we will bring consciousness to medicine. I have a dream that we will practice love, married with all the miraculous technologies that make Western medicine so life-saving, especially in acute care situations.
Marry Western Medicine with Sacred Medicine
Imagine a health care system where the advances of modern medicine that save lives with emergency surgery during trauma, stent placement during heart attacks and strokes, and miracle treatments that save the lives of premature babies marries the wisdom, expertise, and techniques of shamans, Eastern medicine doctors, faith healers, and energy healers. Imagine functional medicine and nutritional interventions in a rock-and-roll mash up with scientifically proven mind-body medicine practices like the ones I teach in my book Mind Over Medicine. Imagine science and technology and psychology and spirituality all wrapped up together in a DNA spiral of infinite possibility that predisposes the body to seemingly miraculous cures from supposedly “incurable” illnesses.
A year ago, my husband and I decided to break up but try living in the same house for the love of our eight year old daughter. It worked for a while—until it didn’t work anymore. Yesterday, we filed for divorce with our mediation lawyer, and as so often happens during the divorce process, I watched two people who care about each other start volleying for position as we talked about who would get what and how we would divide up the business of me. My Small Self had an inner tantrum. The running dialogue in my head during divorce mediation went something like this (with some of the four letter words removed for the love of my ex):
God dammit. We signed a prenuptial agreement nine years ago so we could avoid fighting over who got what, and now here he is, trying to violate the spirit of our agreement so he can take my money. But it’s mine. ALL MINE. My liquidated retirement account that funded this business. My talent that fuels this business. My painstakingly written books. My teleclasses and speaking gigs and hard earned money. And now he wants a piece of my business for the rest of his life? Mine. Mine. MINE. He’s threatening me. I’m scared of losing everything I’ve worked so hard to earn and having to work even harder than I already am. I have to protect myself—NOW.
Then I heard myself saying things I didn’t really mean because my Small Self felt hurt, betrayed, violated, judgmental, righteous, and frightened. I noticed myself slipping into full on self-protection mode without considering what was best for this man I’ve loved for twelve years. I knew I needed help from the Big Guns, so I called my friend and spiritual advisor Tosha Silver, author of Outrageous Openness. I told her I was trying to surrender the entire divorce to Divine Will but I was having a hard time. I know I don’t want to carry the burden of this divorce. I only want whatever is in the highest good to have room to come into being in a way that is equitable, kind, and respectful to us both.
Here’s what Tosha brilliantly advised.
Imagine taking a group of patients Western medicine has failed to cure and putting them together in the hands of a group of shamans in the jungle, like Survivor meets the medicine man. That’s exactly what filmmaker Nick Polizzi did in his award winning film The Sacred Science. This wonderful film follows these patients reality-TV style, as they sleep in hammocks, drink herbal potions concocted by the shamans, eat healthy meals, love and support each other as a community, engage in rituals of healing, tap into their spirituality, and allow themselves to be doctored in the most holistic ways possible.
There’s no hype in this film. It has no agenda. It’s not trying to prove to you that the body has amazing self-repair capacities beyond what we truly understand in the Western medicine paradigm. They’re merely telling you a true story that will leave you in awe. It’s an invitation to consider viewing illness a different way.
If you or anyone you know is battling a “chronic” illness, you’ll definitely want to watch this film, which demonstrates everything I wrote about in Mind Over Medicine and taught in my public television special Heal Yourself: Mind Over Medicine - how the body is innately equipped to play a role in the healing process, how love and community may be more powerful than any drug, how the nurturing care of the healer may be more important than whatever treatment is prescribed, how positive belief in a course of action is essential to the healing process, and how miracles are possible in ways we once knew but seem to have forgotten.
The filmmaker also spent four hours filming my thoughts after I watched this film, so if you sign up FREE to watch the online screening of this film, you’ll also get an opportunity to see the movie he made interviewing me.
Recently, I was blessed to be able to spend an hour on the phone with my shero and mentor Brené Brown, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Daring Greatly. We had so much giddy fun on our teleclass about the intersection of vulnerability and health, how shame is lethal, and how daring greatly and practicing mind over medicine helps you heal. (If you missed the live call, you can get the free download here.)
I had an epiphany during our call that I want to share with you, so pull out your big highlighter. Brené says the most terrifying emotion we experience as humans is joy. We're so frightened of loss that we can't even allow ourselves to lean into those moments when we're standing over our children watching them sleep or when we're falling in love and it feels like our hearts will burst. The second most of us start to feel joy, instead of relishing the blessings, we tend to get swallowed by the fear that the other shoe is about to drop.
Brené said, “When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding." Instead of allowing ourselves to feel the vulnerability of how much joy we feel and how much hurt we would experience if we lost what we have, we dress rehearse tragedy so we can beat vulnerability to the punch. We look at our kids with so much love and then imagine them dying. We feel such tenderness for the person we're falling in love with that we fast forward straight to the day when we get our heart broken. If things are going well in our professional life, we imagine the day we get fired or lose all our money, power, and status. It's like, by trying to imagine the worst case scenario, we somehow think we're protecting ourselves from what we fear most.
But guess what? It doesn't work. If your child dies or the love of your life abandons you or you lose your job or you declare bankruptcy - or whatever tragedy you imagine might befall you happens - no dress rehearsal will protect you from loss and pain. And in the interim, you've missed your chance for effervescent joy, radical presence, true bliss - and the health benefits that accompany joy.