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Blog
Why Being Good At Relationships Is Like Tennis (& Why There’s No Shame At Being Unskilled In Relationships)
It’s not your fault if nobody ever taught you how to be in a healthy relationship. If you grew up in a house with at least one selfabsorbed...
Why Telling Your Story Can Help You Get Justice & Heal Injustices
When it comes to healing, justice is big. Many trauma survivors struggle because their childhoods were so unjust, and then because history repeats...
I Can’t Think Of Anything But Those Immigrants
I have a lot going on in my personal life right now. I'm moving out of the Muir Beach home I've inhabited for 17 years of my life, the home...
Which Parts Show Up Around New People?
As I explained in my blog about IFS-informed Dating and Dating The Day Democracy Died, I learned a ton about myself and my own parts by going on...
Dating The Day Democracy Almost Died
When I embarked upon my online dating experiment in January 2021 and went on about thirty first dates, I took advantage of the opportunity to write...
IFS-Informed Dating: Getting To Know Your “Parts” That Show Up When Dating
Before the pandemic, I’d been intentionally single because I was in a phase of trauma healing recovery that needed me to focus on my own needs and...
Do You Or Your Kids Have Too Much Or Not Enough Entitlement? (Take The Quiz)
Kids can grow up with developmental wounds that put them on one end of the unhealthy entitlement spectrum or the other. On one end, kids grow up too...
Is It Compassion Or Is It Enabling?
As my partner Jeff Rediger and I just finished writing about in our book Relationsick, compassion might not seem like a health issue, but it’s...
It’s Been 5 Years Since Lockdown
It's three days until the 5 year anniversary of lockdown for my hometown. On March 16, 2020, the San Francisco Bay Area was one of the first to...
What Is Developmental Trauma & How Do You Know If You Experienced It?
I spent the morning today planning curriculum for Mothering As Medicine with pediatrician and ACESAware trauma educator Rachel Gilgoff, MD. We were...
Understanding Cult Dynamics + Why We Need To Keep Our Empathy Instead Of Resorting To “I Told You So”
I’ve been overwhelmed by what’s going on in our country right now and feeling helpless and speechless, while I sort out my own emotions, thoughts,...
5 Parenting Mistakes We Don’t Even Know We’re Making
In preparation for Mothering As Medicine, the six week Zoom course I’m co-teaching with pediatrician and ACESAware trauma expert Rachel Gilgoff, MD,...