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Blog
How Spiritual Teachings Can Interfere With Justice
In this week’s LOVE SCHOOL, one of our students raised her hand and asked for help letting go of the rage she felt towards her ex. She’d been...
Is Internal Family Systems A Cult?
By Lissa Rankin, MD, with IFS founder Dick Schwartz & IFS Institute CEO Katie Nelson IFS has grown so much so quickly, and more people than ever...
Understanding Defensive Parts Through An IFS Lens, Part 2
In Understanding Defensive Parts Through An IFS Lens, Part 1, we unpacked the various immature defenses that can get in the way of holding...
Are You A Choice Thief? Or Is Someone Stealing Your Choice?
In intimate relationships, agreements are sacred. They are not just logistical understandings; they are expressions of mutual respect, shared...
Should We Forgive Perpetrators Who Aren’t Sorry?
Many spiritual teachings, self-help messages, and therapies focus on forgiveness as either a spiritual virtue or a way of freeing ourselves from...
A Key Insight Into Why People You Love Might Be Flaky For Reasons Different Than You Think
We had an agreement, my partner and I. I would sacrifice spending Thanksgiving with my family to be with him and our friends in Boston. In exchange,...
Protest IS Patriotic
When I don’t know what to say because I’m in shock at what’s happening in our country, when it would be easier to stay silent than to try to give...
When The Muse Won’t Stop Nudging You Until You Write What You’re Here To Say
If your muse is relentless, like mine, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve scribbled poetry on the backs of receipts or filled...
The 3.5% Rule: Can We Overturn Authoritarianism If 3.5% Of Us Protest?
My partner Dr. Jeffrey Rediger and I attended two No Kings protests in Sebastapol and Santa Rosa. We were even captured in a photo on the...
Understanding Defensive Parts Through An IFS Lens, Part 1
There’s a moment in every healing journey when we meet the parts of ourselves that are armored up so tight, we can hardly breathe. Therapy is hard...
Unpacking The “Why” Of Harmful Relational Behaviors
Let’s be honest. Trauma survivors don’t always behave well. Even if they’re trauma symptom is people-pleasing niceness, that usually rides shotgun...
The Paradox: You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For AND You Can’t Heal In Isolation, Part 2
In You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For (& You Still Need Others), Part 1, I hopefully made the case for why it’s a set up for failure when...











