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Blog
You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For (& You Still Need Others), Part 1
Ten years ago, when I first read Internal Family Systems, (IFS) founder Dick Schwartz’s book You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, it was a game...
The Game Changer That Fundamentally Changed My Life
Like many women, especially those of us who grew up in a religious home, I was indoctrinated at an early age to be a pleasing, compliant good girl...
The Best “Get To Know Someone New” Line Ever
I’m new to Sonoma County and actively in pursuit of new friends, new community, and a new sense of belonging. After 17 years of feeling very...
What Are Your Self-Led Criteria For New Friends Or Dating Partners?
I just moved away from the community I’ve loved for 17 years to follow my partner, Jeff, to a new job in Sonoma County. That means losing daily...
Why Being Good At Relationships Is Like Tennis (& Why There’s No Shame At Being Unskilled In Relationships)
It’s not your fault if nobody ever taught you how to be in a healthy relationship. If you grew up in a house with at least one selfabsorbed...
Why Telling Your Story Can Help You Get Justice & Heal Injustices
When it comes to healing, justice is big. Many trauma survivors struggle because their childhoods were so unjust, and then because history repeats...
I Can’t Think Of Anything But Those Immigrants
I have a lot going on in my personal life right now. I'm moving out of the Muir Beach home I've inhabited for 17 years of my life, the home...
Which Parts Show Up Around New People?
As I explained in my blog about IFS-informed Dating and Dating The Day Democracy Died, I learned a ton about myself and my own parts by going on...
Dating The Day Democracy Almost Died
When I embarked upon my online dating experiment in January 2021 and went on about thirty first dates, I took advantage of the opportunity to write...
IFS-Informed Dating: Getting To Know Your “Parts” That Show Up When Dating
Before the pandemic, I’d been intentionally single because I was in a phase of trauma healing recovery that needed me to focus on my own needs and...
Do You Or Your Kids Have Too Much Or Not Enough Entitlement? (Take The Quiz)
Kids can grow up with developmental wounds that put them on one end of the unhealthy entitlement spectrum or the other. On one end, kids grow up too...
Is It Compassion Or Is It Enabling?
As my partner Jeff Rediger and I just finished writing about in our book Relationsick, compassion might not seem like a health issue, but it’s...