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Blog
You Can Heal Your “Parts” & Be The Good Enough Primary Attachment Figure You Never Had
I’m new in town, so I’m trying to make new friends and I met someone today who had never heard of IFS. She was a longtime seeker with a tough past...
How To Heal When Your Perpetrator Expects A Hall Pass: A Step By Step Process
You know the drill. You go to the person who hurt you. You say “When you did x, y, and z, I felt hurt, abandoned, neglected, tortured, betrayed,...
Need A Peer To Peer IFS Parts Processing Partner?
On Monday, August 11, we’ll be teaching our LOVE SCHOOL participants how to do peer to peer parts processing with Internal Family Systems, as a way...
How Spiritual Teachings Can Interfere With Justice
In this week’s LOVE SCHOOL, one of our students raised her hand and asked for help letting go of the rage she felt towards her ex. She’d been...
Is Internal Family Systems A Cult?
By Lissa Rankin, MD, with IFS founder Dick Schwartz & IFS Institute CEO Katie Nelson IFS has grown so much so quickly, and more people than ever...
Understanding Defensive Parts Through An IFS Lens, Part 2
In Understanding Defensive Parts Through An IFS Lens, Part 1, we unpacked the various immature defenses that can get in the way of holding...
Are You A Choice Thief? Or Is Someone Stealing Your Choice?
In intimate relationships, agreements are sacred. They are not just logistical understandings; they are expressions of mutual respect, shared...
Should We Forgive Perpetrators Who Aren’t Sorry?
Many spiritual teachings, self-help messages, and therapies focus on forgiveness as either a spiritual virtue or a way of freeing ourselves from...
A Key Insight Into Why People You Love Might Be Flaky For Reasons Different Than You Think
We had an agreement, my partner and I. I would sacrifice spending Thanksgiving with my family to be with him and our friends in Boston. In exchange,...
Protest IS Patriotic
When I don’t know what to say because I’m in shock at what’s happening in our country, when it would be easier to stay silent than to try to give...
When The Muse Won’t Stop Nudging You Until You Write What You’re Here To Say
If your muse is relentless, like mine, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve scribbled poetry on the backs of receipts or filled...
The 3.5% Rule: Can We Overturn Authoritarianism If 3.5% Of Us Protest?
My partner Dr. Jeffrey Rediger and I attended two No Kings protests in Sebastapol and Santa Rosa. We were even captured in a photo on the...