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Blog
IFS-Informed Dating: Getting To Know Your “Parts” That Show Up When Dating
Before the pandemic, I’d been intentionally single because I was in a phase of trauma healing recovery that needed me to focus on my own needs and...
Do You Or Your Kids Have Too Much Or Not Enough Entitlement? (Take The Quiz)
Kids can grow up with developmental wounds that put them on one end of the unhealthy entitlement spectrum or the other. On one end, kids grow up too...
Is It Compassion Or Is It Enabling?
As my partner Jeff Rediger and I just finished writing about in our book Relationsick, compassion might not seem like a health issue, but it’s...
It’s Been 5 Years Since Lockdown
It's three days until the 5 year anniversary of lockdown for my hometown. On March 16, 2020, the San Francisco Bay Area was one of the first to...
What Is Developmental Trauma & How Do You Know If You Experienced It?
I spent the morning today planning curriculum for Mothering As Medicine with pediatrician and ACESAware trauma educator Rachel Gilgoff, MD. We were...
Understanding Cult Dynamics + Why We Need To Keep Our Empathy Instead Of Resorting To “I Told You So”
I’ve been overwhelmed by what’s going on in our country right now and feeling helpless and speechless, while I sort out my own emotions, thoughts,...
5 Parenting Mistakes We Don’t Even Know We’re Making
In preparation for Mothering As Medicine, the six week Zoom course I’m co-teaching with pediatrician and ACESAware trauma expert Rachel Gilgoff, MD,...
When It’s Ethical To Control Your Kids- & When It’s Not
I had a controlling mother. She felt entitled to control what I wore, how I did my hair, whether or not I plucked my eyebrows or shaved my legs,...
Do You Rescue Or Prefer To Be Rescued?
If you’re like most people I know, you either fantasize about being rescued- or you identify with being the rescuer. If you look at the history of...
Do You Feel Like You Wind Up Parenting Your Partner, Who Then Resents Being Infantalized?
I was recently listening to one of my favorite podcasts, couples therapist Esther Perel’s Where Shall We Begin. In this episode, the woman who is...
Helping Your Children Heal Their Mommy Wounds
I mostly steer clear of writing about my daughter or our relationship. Because…boundaries. Just because I’ve chosen to put a lot of my vulnerability...
The Sensitive Art Of Relational Rupture & Repair
This morning, I had a small conflict with a friend, who I’ll call Piper. Although I’m on a tight book deadline for a book that’s due February 1,...