When it comes to healing, justice is big. Many trauma survivors struggle because their childhoods were so unjust, and then because history repeats itself, this often sets them up for relationships and jobs where the injustices play out again. And then there are the...
As I explained in my blog about IFS-informed Dating and Dating The Day Democracy Died, I learned a ton about myself and my own parts by going on about thirty first dates before I wound up with my current partner Jeffrey Rediger, who I met at a trauma conference we...
Kids can grow up with developmental wounds that put them on one end of the unhealthy entitlement spectrum or the other. On one end, kids grow up too entitled. They feel entitled to things they’re not actually entitled to, and this can put them at risk of...
It's three days until the 5 year anniversary of lockdown for my hometown. On March 16, 2020, the San Francisco Bay Area was one of the first to close everything. I remember the weirdness viscerally. One luxury remained. Since I live at the beach, I was allowed to...
In preparation for Mothering As Medicine, the six week Zoom course I’m co-teaching with pediatrician and ACESAware trauma expert Rachel Gilgoff, MD, I’ve been thinking about the experience of being parented and the experience of being a mother, with compassion for...
In LOVE SCHOOL, our IFS community of practice for healing relational trauma, improving relationships, and getting to know how your own parts engage relationally, one of the LOVE SCHOOL, who identifies with being in an unbalanced relationship, sent me a private...
After my divorce from the father of my now 18-year old daughter, I hoped to find a relationship with someone who was willing to go the distance with me. I’d met people who claimed to be up for personal or spiritual growth, but when the rubber met the road and we...
When my 59 year old physician father was given three months to live four months after he’d already been cured from an altogether different cancer, I asked myself “If I found out I had only three months to live, would I be living the life I’m living right now?” The...