My therapist gave me “ruthless lessons” as part of my treatment, because I was so naïve, lacked street smarts, and couldn’t spot a cunning, manipulative, exploitative individual because my rose colored glasses and trauma-informed compassion gave everyone the...
Ruthless Lessons Part 1 Some of us relate to others through the eyes of young, innocent parts with a naïve, idealized, optimistic tendency to see the best in others, give them the benefit of the doubt, assume good intentions of others, and extend a great deal of...
We Can’t Protect Ourselves Without Understanding Trust Since I’m preparing curriculum for my upcoming class Becoming Unf*ckwithable, I was noodling what it actually takes to be both vulnerable and protected from those who might wish to mess with us- and any time I...
In response to a post about why we would be wise to be wary of spiritual showoffs, a reader, Matthew commented: “I've been asked recently what I do to look after my spiritual needs. My knee-jerk reaction was to flounder around and justify some of my alone time as a...
Why We Need Our Trauma Stories Validated (When Abusers So Often Minimize, Deny & Gaslight) In spite of every pretzeling attempt his child self made to be obedient to abusive fundamentalist parents growing up, my partner Jeff's family shunned him, making up a...
I used to hate being asked "What do you do?" I learned that if I told people I was an OB/GYN, the next half hour would result in people telling me about how their vagina got ripped all the way open during childbirth or asking me for free medical advice. When people...
The Difference Between Unconditional Love, Sex, Intimacy, and Compatibility. When I was teaching a workshop recently, I made a flippant comment to a client. “Intimacy is not the same as unconditional love, nor is it the same as sex or compatibility.” My client...
Synchrodestiny got hold of me recently. I had just gotten off the phone with Esalen Institute, planning my first post-pandemic 5 day Sacred Medicine workshop at Esalen in May and a month-long Burnout Recovery For Health Care Workers & Therapists in the fall,...