In my last blog- Do You Overfunction Or Underfunction In Relationships - I outlined a common relationship dynamic that can cause distress in relationships in the long run. Overfunctioners often take on responsibilities that are not theirs to take on, or they try to...
If you’re trying to love someone with a significant trauma history, you’ve probably noticed that it’s not always easy on you- the relatively safe attachment figure. It’s nobody’s fault. Trauma begets trauma, and all trauma deserves our compassion. But it is helpful...
While few people name the pattern, we’ve all seen couples where one person overfunctions, and the other person underfunctions. What do we mean by “functioning?” Dr. Will Meek defined it as “our ability to manage life (make decisions, manage time and stress, etc);...
*My partner Jeffrey Rediger, MD, MDiv was supposed to be delivering a TEDx talk about the topic of our next book together last week, but the tech outage that disrupted flights for days made it impossible for him to get there. So...because it was an idea worth...
I’m preparing curriculum right now for a weekend Zoom workshop I’m teaching in September with my partner Jeff Rediger, called Healing Attachment Wounds In Relationship. The workshop is intended to support those who are more securely attached and trying to love...
As I wrote in Navigating The Space Between Stories, many of us are experiencing more change, more quickly, with more uncertainty, than we’re used to. To meet this need for support during times of change, Dr. Jeffrey Rediger and I are hosting a live, in person...
Ever since things started opening back up again after the pandemic, I'm very aware of how much change we're all facing. We are definitely in the "space between stories," when one story is definitely in its death throes, and the next story has not yet made itself...
In Understanding Attachment Styles: A Key to Trauma-Informed Dating & Relating, we talked about how understanding your attachment style (and learning to spot the attachment signals of someone else’s attachment style) can make dating easier. We also...