I once had a (very brief) romance with a guy who I suspect is a sociopath. He suspects he’s a sociopath too, so it’s not just me. In a book he wrote, he even has a whole chapter about sociopaths and was very openly curious about whether he, too, was one of them....
Pop psychology uses a lot of lingo to describe various imbalances in relationship: Overfunctioning/ Underfunctioning Narcissist/ Codependent Neurotypical/ Neurodivergent (ADHD, autism, etc) Caregiver/ Disabled care receiver Falsely empowered/ Disempowered One up/...
Everyone deserves to be loved, especially the people who didn’t get love growing up. We all deserve companionship, affection, attention, appreciation, nurturing care, safe touch, comfort, and someone to have fun with. All human beings deserve to feel special,...
Let’s be honest. Trauma survivors don’t always behave well. Even if they’re trauma symptom is people-pleasing niceness, that usually rides shotgun with passive aggressive resentment and punishing behaviors that result from poor boundaries and over-giving. But...
I’m new to Sonoma County and actively in pursuit of new friends, new community, and a new sense of belonging. After 17 years of feeling very embedded in my beloved Muir Beach, I feel oddly vulnerable in a town where I barely know anyone. With my new empty...
As I explained in my blog about IFS-informed Dating and Dating The Day Democracy Died, I learned a ton about myself and my own parts by going on about thirty first dates before I wound up with my current partner Jeffrey Rediger, who I met at a trauma conference we...
When I embarked upon my online dating experiment in January 2021 and went on about thirty first dates, I took advantage of the opportunity to write about all my dates and notice which parts of me showed up on each date. I thought I had a pretty stable sense of self...
Before the pandemic, I’d been intentionally single because I was in a phase of trauma healing recovery that needed me to focus on my own needs and healing. My inclination towards codependent love addiction and making someone else’s needs matter more than my own was...