Let’s be honest. Trauma survivors don’t always behave well. Even if they’re trauma symptom is people-pleasing niceness, that usually rides shotgun with passive aggressive resentment and punishing behaviors that result from poor boundaries and over-giving. But...
I’m new to Sonoma County and actively in pursuit of new friends, new community, and a new sense of belonging. After 17 years of feeling very embedded in my beloved Muir Beach, I feel oddly vulnerable in a town where I barely know anyone. With my new empty...
As I explained in my blog about IFS-informed Dating and Dating The Day Democracy Died, I learned a ton about myself and my own parts by going on about thirty first dates before I wound up with my current partner Jeffrey Rediger, who I met at a trauma conference we...
When I embarked upon my online dating experiment in January 2021 and went on about thirty first dates, I took advantage of the opportunity to write about all my dates and notice which parts of me showed up on each date. I thought I had a pretty stable sense of self...
Before the pandemic, I’d been intentionally single because I was in a phase of trauma healing recovery that needed me to focus on my own needs and healing. My inclination towards codependent love addiction and making someone else’s needs matter more than my own was...
As my partner Jeff Rediger and I just finished writing about in our book Relationsick, compassion might not seem like a health issue, but it’s intimately tied to the health of the body. It turns out that when our bodies act up, the body is a trailhead we are...
I’ve been overwhelmed by what’s going on in our country right now and feeling helpless and speechless, while I sort out my own emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and call to action. One thing I know I can offer is psycho-education about narcissism and cult dynamics....
I was recently listening to one of my favorite podcasts, couples therapist Esther Perel’s Where Shall We Begin. In this episode, the woman who is co-parenting with a man is complaining because she feels like she’s carrying far more than her fair share of the...