For those of you seeking to write a memoir or learn self-help tools to deepen your Internal Family Systems practice, either as an adjunct to your IFS practice or because you can’t afford or can’t find an IFS therapist, my health equity parts want to share some...
In my last blog, How Can You Tell If You Or Your Partner Are Projecting?, we discussed the telltale signs of the defense mechanism of “projection,” when someone projects their own feelings onto others or shifts blame from themselves onto someone else. We also...
If you’re trying to love someone with a significant trauma history, you’ve probably noticed that it’s not always easy on you- the relatively safe attachment figure. It’s nobody’s fault. Trauma begets trauma, and all trauma deserves our compassion. But it is helpful...
While few people name the pattern, we’ve all seen couples where one person overfunctions, and the other person underfunctions. What do we mean by “functioning?” Dr. Will Meek defined it as “our ability to manage life (make decisions, manage time and stress, etc);...
*My partner Jeffrey Rediger, MD, MDiv was supposed to be delivering a TEDx talk about the topic of our next book together last week, but the tech outage that disrupted flights for days made it impossible for him to get there. So...because it was an idea worth...
In Understanding Attachment Styles: A Key to Trauma-Informed Dating & Relating, we talked about how understanding your attachment style (and learning to spot the attachment signals of someone else’s attachment style) can make dating easier. We also...
I have a soft spot in my heart for people who both crave and fear intimacy. And I especially feel tender towards couples or besties who have disparities in their tolerance for intimacy. It’s a simple fact that some people grow up with good enough parents in loving...
Although we have a ways to go, the zeitgeist is catching up to the idea that 85-90% of medical conditions are caused by or exacerbated by psychological trauma, and we all have been traumatized to some degree. Science now understands the physiology of how...