When we are committed to the spiritual path, it is a common mistake to inadvertently apply spiritual principles to how we navigate relationships in a way that can actually harm us or damage the relationship. Psychologist Robert Masters, author of Spiritual Bypassing and Transformation Through Intimacy, will help us discuss how to deal with conflict consciously, how to deepen intimacy, and how to avoid the common “spiritual bypassing” techniques that can lead to conflict avoidance, poor boundary setting, “blind compassion” and “neurotic tolerance,” and even abuse. In many ascetic spiritual paths, intimate relationships have been viewed as a lesser alternative to spiritual life, with those who are married or have families dismissed as mere “householders.” Yet more and more, we are finding that relationships can actually enhance our spiritual growth. Too often we pull away when relationships become difficult, missing out on the rewards of connecting more profoundly in a way that allows us to witness the divinity in another and having it witnessed in ourselves. So many of us who approach relationships as a spiritual practice find ourselves in difficult relationships that simultaneously challenge us and help us grow. So how do we handle these relationships consciously? How do we milk these relationships for all they’re worth without putting ourselves at risk of boundary violations or even abuse? How do we know when it’s time to cut our losses and walk away? When is it useful to use spiritual practices to help us “transcend” our everyday difficulties and when is it spiritual bypassing? Dr. Masters will discuss intimate relationships through a four-stage lens: me-centered, we-centered codependent, we-centered coindependent, and being-centered. Bring your questions, your confusion, your insights, and your wisdom to this vibrant conversation!

The story of the romantic dyad is a strong program in our culture. Boy meets girl, they get married, and they live happily ever after without ever being attracted to another, without being tempted sexually, and without ever falling in love outside the monogamous union. Or boy meets boy, girl meets girl, and they enjoy monogamous bliss. But this idea of “The One” doesn’t seem to be working so well for many in our culture. Half of marriages end in divorce, and even many of the ones that don’t are affected by the betrayals of infidelity. As conscious beings committed to a spiritual path, how do we deal with this? Is monogamy the only path to conscious romantic relationships? What about the path of polyamory? Is that a true spiritual path or is it just a way to use spiritual language to cover up sex addiction or intimacy avoidance? What about family values and the effect of divorce and infidelity on children? How can we follow the freedom the soul yearns for without sacrificing our values? How do we avoid letting the programming of our culture impart a certain “fascism of the soul” on our sexuality and relationships? Is it possible to use the pain of infidelity to grow closer—or is this always a time to set and enforce boundaries? What about forgiveness when your trust is betrayed? What about standing up for yourself and refusing to let someone cheat? What would it mean to offer those we love—and ourselves—freedom to love who we love? What kinds of boundaries would need to be in place in order for such agreements to work consciously? Does monogamy ever work without requiring one or both parties to compromise the truth of the soul? Does polyamory ever work without repetitive painful triggers that lead to heartbreak or without intimacy bypassing? Join Lissa and her spiritual counselor transpersonal psychologist Ted Esser, PhD for a conversation that is sure to be enlivening, controversial and juicy. Neither Lissa nor Ted consider themselves experts in alternative relationships, but we trust that the wisdom in this community will guide us towards a conscious exploration of the cutting-edge of relationships.

It’s easy to practice our spiritual values when we’re in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. But what about when things get rough? What if things don’t go as planned? What happens when we grow apart or experience betrayals and conflict? What if it’s time to break up? Is it possible to break up and stay in love? Is it possible to navigate the minefields of divorce without turning into raving lunatics who forget our spiritual practices when we become afraid and feel threatened? What if you’re going through a divorce and you’re committed to unconditional love and forgiveness, but your partner is trying to screw you? What if the legal system is making you forget everything you learned from your spiritual teachings? What if you’re so reactive during a break up—whether it’s a marriage, a business partnership, a friendship, or a family tie that’s breaking—that you lose touch with your deep soul truth? How do we return to love while still protecting ourselves during the end of a relationship? How might we reframe the break-up, so it’s not viewed as a failure, but rather as the end of a spiritual teaching and the conscious dissolution of a soul agreement? How might we move consciously through anger, judgment, hurt, and disappointment, not by bypassing those painful feelings, but by feeling them fully and letting those energies move through us so we can return to love? Facilitated by Lissa and Outrageous Openness & Change Me Prayers author Tosha Silver, who offered spiritual counseling to Lissa through her divorce, we will dive into the uncomfortable realms of how to be true to your essence, even when you’re most triggered. Bring your stories of surrender in relationship, and tell us what happened when you finally let go of positioning for what you wanted or resisting what you didn’t want. Tell us your break up stories and join us to engage in conversation about how to traverse the dicey territory of conflict and break ups consciously.

As our culture wakes up together, the nature of relationships is changing, and this can be confusing. Fewer and fewer relationships fit in the old boxes established by the patriarchy. Does marriage still make sense, or is it part of what Charles Eisenstein would call “the old story?” Is the story of “The One” still valid? What about relationships that don’t fit in a culturally acceptable box? What if you love someone deeply and the love doesn’t fit in a standard checklist of appropriate relationship models? What if you’re married and you fall in love with someone who isn’t your spouse? What if someone has no blood relationship to you but you feel like they’re family? What if you’re so intimate with a friend that it goes beyond the average friendship? What if you’re straight but you feel an erotic charge with someone of the same sex, or what if you’re gay and you feel yourself attracted to the opposite sex? What if you feel strong feelings of love for your clients? What if you fall in love with your guru or spiritual teacher? How do we handle these kinds of complicated relationships in a conscious way? What about our values and morals? What about healthy boundaries? What happens when your whole identity of who you are and what kind of person you think yourself to be gets shattered by one of these “out of the box” relationships? In this module, I’ll be calling upon the wisdom and experience of Charles Eisenstein, the author of The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible. We’ll discuss what it means to be in “the space between stories” in many of our relationships as we evolve as individuals and as the culture remakes itself. Your input, your stories, your vulnerability, and your insights will be needed in order to explore this topic.

If we’re all supposed to meet “The One” and live happily ever after, stay close with all our family members, cultivate friendships that last a lifetime, and be in conscious relationships with all our colleagues, how come life is so full of disappointment in relationships? How do we have navigate the “expectation hangovers” that accompany relationships? It can be tempting to use spiritual tools to bypass the pain of disappointment or to negate such feelings, judging them as “unspiritual.” But disappointment hurts—and we are beautifully human with sensitive hearts. So how do we navigate the pain of disappointment consciously? Perhaps when the ego gets everything it wants, it doesn’t grow much. Yet perhaps the soul grows most when we are disappointed. Still, we can’t use the awareness of soul growth as a spiritual bypass to avoid dealing with painful feelings like disappointment. How can we use disappointment in relationships to alchemize transformation while also treating ourselves gently and with compassion? It doesn’t work to spiritually bully ourselves, trying to force ourselves to let go before we’re ready. But it also doesn’t work to stay stuck in our victim stories. How might we hold space for both seemingly conflicting truths? Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler will help us explore this topic gently.

In many Western religions, sex is perceived as profane, while spirituality is sacred. Sex happens below the waist, but spirituality happens above the neck, right? Yet this sexuality/spirituality split happens more in the West than in the East. In many Eastern cultures, sex and spirituality are seen as inseparable. Most likely, you have at least glimpsed this possibility in your own sexuality, when the borders between two humans can dissolve and you feel yourself becoming One with another human being, when you gaze into the eyes of your beloved and you see God or Goddess, mirrored back to you through the eyes of Love Itself. How can we be separate from God when we are coming into such deep union with another human being? Why has the church threatened to cut us off from sexuality as an ecstatic path to the Divine? What would it mean if we embraced sexuality fully as part of our spiritual practice, not just in sexual union with another, but in our own masturbation practices? What if we can make love to the God within ourselves in a conscious way? As a physician, wife, and co-author of The Multi-Orgasmic Woman about Taoist sexuality with Mantak Chia, Rachel Carlton Abrams will surely have many gifts of wisdom to share with us as we dive into this stimulating, sexy territory together.

What happens when you love someone so deeply and with such a purity of heart connection that you cannot be cleaved, even by death? Heart Broken Open author Kris Carlson experiences this ever since her husband Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff, died unexpectedly a decade ago, leaving behind his young wife and two children. How do we handle it when death doesn’t end a relationship? How can we navigate the loss of a loved one in a conscious way? If love never ends, why does it hurt so much to lose someone’s physical presence? How do we allow the heartbreak of grief and loss to break us open rather than shut us down? When you’ve experienced repetitive heartbreak, whether through death or breaking up, how do you keep the heart open and resist the temptation to lock down the heart? How do you avoid what Brene Brown calls “foreboding joy,” that tendency to shut down your joy because you can’t stand the vulnerability of how much you have to lose? What does it mean to keep giving your loved ones permission to break your heart, even when you’re experiencing so much pain? What if your dead loved one still communicates with you? Does that mean you’re crazy or in denial, or is it true that love never ends? When is it time to move one and let go? As conscious, evolving beings of love, how can we handle the pain in a way that grows us, rather than contracts us? We’ve all lost loved ones, whether through death, abandonment, or rejection. These painful soul lessons are potent opportunities to move through the pain, to let the pain course through your body and your heart like waves of the ocean, and to let the pain soften the soil around your heart so your heart can blossom.the pain, to let the pain course through your body and your heart like waves of the ocean, and to let the pain soften the soil around your heart so your heart can blossom.

What does it mean to be a conscious man in support of the Divine Feminine? What does it mean to be a woman moving beyond the “profane feminine” shadow into the archetype of the Divine Feminine? When the feminine is rising, how can men step fully into the masculine in a way that doesn’t further support the out of balance patriarchy? What about those with gender fluidity? Is it all about biological gender, or are we all meant to balance the Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine within us? Let’s explore this sometimes touchy subject of gender roles with consciousness, openness, curiosity, and the willingness to not know.

Relationships aren’t just about two people. They’re about networks of people who come together and exchange as cells in one larger body of humanity. When we are socially isolated, our nervous systems go into 'fight or flight’, the body’s self-healing mechanisms are disabled, and we become prone to illness, depression and what the shamans call 'soul sickness.’ Loneliness is the #1 public health issue in our society right now. Yet we have a choice. In this module, we’ll dive into inquiry around this topic. What lies at the root of loneliness? Why is it possible to feel lonelier when you’re surrounded by crowds of people than when you’re alone? If social isolation is bad for the body, what about introverts? Is it better to be in community? And what about living with the “wrong” people—is that an option or is it preferable then to be alone? How do we find the friends of our soul, rather than the friends of our ego? What if you’re single and live alone? What can you do to call in your soul tribe? Why do so many feel so helpless in the face of their loneliness? What can we do as conscious, caring beings to help ease the loneliness of others? Is the 'cure' for loneliness an inside job or an outside job—or both? To facilitate this conversation, I’m inviting Lisette Schuitemaker to join me. Lisette is chair of the board of the Findhorn Foundation in Scotland, which is one of the longest running intentional communities and ecovillages in the world. We’ll discuss her concept of “othering” and “enemy-making” and how we can choose to shift from “me consciousness” to “we consciousnsess.” We also hope to hear from those of you who have found unique ways to call in your soul tribe. We are all in this together.