Friendship

lissa1430ShastaNelson

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  • Are you a really good friend to other people, but when it comes time to getting your own needs met, nobody steps up to the plate?
  • Do your friends continually let you down and leave you disappointed, or do you feel like you’re not a good friend to others?
  • Do you feel like you’re constantly wearing masks, pretending to be someone you’re not, in order to feel loved and accepted by others?
  • Do you feel like you’ll never find your tribe of authentic friends who love you just the way you are?
  • Are you lonely amidst a sea of acquaintances who don’t really know the real you?
  • Do you have virtual friends, but lack real life flesh and blood intimate friendships that feed your soul and nourish your heart?
  • Would you do anything to find your true BFFs and learn how to release with love the friendships that no longer serve you?
  • Are You Tired Of Feeling Disappointed Or Letting Others Down?

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If so, I totally feel you, dear ones!

I’ve learned how to attract real, authentic, inner circle friendships by getting my heart broken and learning my lessons the hard way. I’ve been disappointed by my girlfriends and let down by my guy friends, and I’ve done more than my share of disappointing and letting down others. Part of what I learned through these painful lessons was that my friends and I weren’t doing a good job communicating our needs and desires to each other. Instead, we were expecting each other to be mind-readers. And surprise! We sucked at mind reading! Now, I feel blessed and grateful to have an inner circle of close friends who have mutually agreed to express our wants and needs and do what we can to fulfill those desires, as long as they’re in alignment with our authentic selves. Along the way, I’ve learned many specific tools for navigating these friendship so it’s super clear how I need to be in relationship with my friends and how they need me to be in return. The result of the personal work I’ve done to nurture my friendships is a circle of friends who I feel safe enough to be vulnerable with, who I can expose my imperfections to without fear of judgment or rejection, who have agreed to gently call me on my shit, who I can ask for what I need, and who I can trust with my very soul, knowing it will be lovingly tended and tenderly held. Because I want you to experience the same kind of intimate connections with wonderful people who have your back and know your heart, I’m offering a 90 minute teleclass, “How To Attract Intimate Friendships That Stick.” But more on that in a minute…

So Why Do We Need Friends?

Three friends lying on autumn leaves

It’s often easier to attract friends when we’re young, in school, and not burdened by the daily tasks of career, family life, and household duties. But as we grow up, having intimate friendship is even more important than when we’re young because friendships can literally help halt the aging process. Not only do friendships make us feel connected, cherished, supported, and loved; they also bolster our health and increase our life expectancy! In fact, let me tell you a little story I wrote about in my upcoming book Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof You Can Heal Yourself (Hay House, May 2013). Once upon a time, a tribe of Italian immigrants crossed the Atlantic and settled in Roseto, Pennsylvania, where they didn’t exactly live the most “healthy” lifestyle. They ate meatballs fried in lard, smoked like chimneys, boozed it up every night, and pigged out on pasta and pizza. Yet, shockingly, they had half the rate of heart disease and much lower rates of many other illnesses than the national average. It wasn’t the water they drank, the hospital they went to, or their DNA. And clearly, it wasn’t their stellar diet. So what was it that made the people of Roseto so resistant to heart disease? One physician, baffled by their low rates of heart disease, studied the townspeople to determine why they were so protected.

The Effects of Loneliness On The Body

What his researchers found is that the tight knit community living in multi-generational homes and enjoying communal dinners and frequent festivities provided solace from the loneliness so many people feel. The love and support of others in the close knit community alleviated the stress and overwhelm many lonely people feel. Researchers posit that the stress lonely people feel, which increases cortisol levels and activates the sympathetic nervous system, raising heart rate, elevating blood pressure, incapacitating the immune system, and increasing the risk of heart disease, is responsible for much of the illness lonely people experience. Because the people of Roseto never felt alone, they rarely died of heart disease – most died of “old age” – even though they smoked, ate poorly, and drank. As it turns out, alleviation of loneliness is preventative medicine, and the scientific data suggests that loneliness is a stronger risk factor for illness than smoking or failure to exercise.

The Health Benefits Of Friendship

It’s not just heart disease friendship protects you from. One study examining the people of Alameda County, California found that, in every age and sex category, people with the most intimate social ties were 3 times less likely to have died over a 9 year period than those who reported the fewest social ties. Those with more social connections were even found to have lower rates of cancer. In fact, how much we commune and connect with our friends may prove as important as exercise when it comes to predicting life expectancy. A Harvard study examining the lives of almost 3000 people found that those who gather together to go out to dinner, play cards, go on day trips, vacation with friends, go to the movies, attend sporting events, go to church, and engage in other social activities with friends far outlive their reclusive peers. The degree of social support you experience even affects the likelihood of cure, should you wind up sick. A study of nearly 3000 nurses with breast cancer showed that people who go through cancer alone are four times more likely to die from their disease than those with ten or more friends supporting their journey. In fact, the data suggests that friendships may be even more health-inducing than having a spouse. In the same study, having a spouse did not show a survival benefit – but having many friendships did. The same protective effect of friendship was seen in a group of Swedish men with heart disease. Charles Raison, professor of psychiatry at Emory University School of Medicine, concluded, “People who have rich social lives and warm, open relationships don’t get sick and they live longer.”

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Plus, Friendships Are Fun And Mojo-Inducing!

Few things bring me as much joy as hanging out with my girlfriends, strolling through the park with a trusted companion who knows all my flaws and loves me anyway, going out dancing with my BFF, having a heart to heart with someone who knows my soul, cooking a meal together and watching a movie, or gathering with my peeps when one of us is in the dumps and needs a little cheer session. It’s not just about quantity, though. It’s about quality. If you’re hanging with the wrong people, you can feel more lonely in a roomful of people than by yourself. It’s about feeling safe to be UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU and giving someone else permission to be the same. When you attract friends that never judge you, always love you, and know how to help you grow into the best version of yourself, you’ve found one of life’s most priceless gifts. I’m so committed to helping you receive the gift of intimate friendship that I’m hosting a teleclass to teach you all the lessons I’ve learned over the years about becoming and attracting more intimate friendships. The 90 minute teleclass How To Attract Intimate Friendships That Stick shares with you all the lessons I’ve learned the hard way so you can skyrocket yourself into deeper, more connected, more intimate friendship with the kind of friends you will light your fire.

What Will You Learn In This Teleclass?

In this class, you’ll learn how to:

  • Be a good friend and become a magnet for attracting inspired, authentic, spiritually-minded friends who lift you up, rather than holding you back
  • Implement one friendship practice that will triple your intimacy and transform not just your friendships, but all your relationships
  • Stop doing this one thing guaranteed to sabotage your relationships
  • Hone your tools of discernment so you choose the right friends to be in your inner circle
  • Overcome the blocks that keep you from being honest with yourself and others about what you want and need from those you care about
  • Gain clarity on the often unspoken agreements you’ve made with people, which often serve to make you miserable
  • Put into practice one friendship-sparking exercise meant to help you accept responsibility for the part you play in creating your relationship dynamics
  • Attract the friends who let you unapologetically shine your light, without pressuring you to dim it down
  • Keep your heart open even when it feels exposed, vulnerable, or hurt
  • Be brave enough to be do one thing guaranteed to increase your sense of connection and belonging with your friends
  • Transform your friendships into tools for personal growth and spiritual enlightenment
  • Be proactive about finding your tribe and inviting them into your inner circle

The Deets

The teleclass will be live with myself, Lissa Rankin and Shasta Nelson, author of Friendships Don’t Just Happen!, and as long as you can call into a US teleconference call line via phone or Skype, you can participate from anywhere in the world.

Wednesday, February 6th at 12:00 pm PT / 3:00 pm ET

How much? $24.99 (Yes, it’s this inexpensive because what we’ll be teaching has changed my life in such profound ways that I want to make sure ANYONE who is feeling lonely or disconnected can learn what I’ll be teaching). What if you can’t make it live? Go ahead and sign up anyway. The teleclass will be recorded, and if you can’t join us live, we’ll send you the recording afterwards.

And… Drumroll, please!

Enrollment in this teleclass means you’ll also receive a FREE copy of Shasta Nelson’s book Friendships Don’t Just Happen: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of Girlfriends delivered right to your doorstep.

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**As this program is a live tele-jam, no refunds will be offered on this program. Your free book will be shipped upon purchase.**

I’m so committed to helping you ramp up your friendship mojo that I’d love for you to invite your nearest and dearest (or those you HOPE will be your nearest and dearest) to join you for this teleclass. Give this teleclass as a gift to your closest friends or forward this page onto them and ask them to join you! By inviting your friends, you’ll have shared language about how you can boost the strength and intimacy of your friendships, and I’ll give you all the tools you need in order to renegotiate the sacred contracts you’ve made with your friends, in order to deepen and strengthen old relationships and call in new ones.

I so hope to see you there.

With faith in deep friendships,

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