Please. I beg of you – STOP.

Stop pulling all-nighters in the quest for the straight A’s that will earn you the title of valedictorian.

Stop pushing yourself so you can make it to nationals and maybe one day win an Olympic gold.

Stop coming in at 6am and staying until 10pm so you’ll get the promotion or close the deal.

Stop trying to outdo last year’s investment earnings.

Stop. Just Stop.

Stop trying to run that marathon faster.

Stop positioning yourself so that exclusive club will let you be a member.

Stop working out seven days a week so you can have ripped abs and cut arms so you can attract that lover you think you don’t deserve.

Stop forcing yourself to drink your daily green juice and cook your healthy organic meals and cut out everything you really love to eat.

For Pete’s sake, stop trying to ditch your bad habit.

Stop hustling so you can grow your mailing list so you can land an agent and score a book deal so you can sell a million books and become a NY Times bestselling author.

Stop networking so you can prove to people that you’re well-connected with influential people who can uplevel your status. And for the love of God, stop name-dropping so everyone will know how far up you are in the pecking order.

Stop. Just F*cking Stop It.

Stop trying to prove something. Stop achieving. Stop caring what everybody else thinks. Stop beating yourself up because you’re not smart enough/ rich enough/ skinny enough/ healthy enough/ loving enough/ famous enough/ talented enough/ [insert your hang up] enough.

Instead, try this.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

You’ve done enough. You’ve achieved enough. You’re loved enough. You’re affirmed enough.

You’ve won enough awards. You’ve got enough money.  You are attractive enough. You’re healthy enough. You’ve worked your way up far enough in your business.  You’ve done the best you can.

You are enough.

The Achievement Junkie

Trust me, I’ve learned this the painful way. I was the classic overachieving kid. Straight A’s. Teacher’s pet. Got offered my first book deal at age 11 (I turned it down.)

Editor of the yearbook. Danced in a ballet company. Got into Duke University.

Then I graduated second in my class from medical school. Honor society. Cash awards. Accepted to the best OB/GYN program in the country. Married a doctor. Then a veterinarian. Landed my dream job. Earned big bucks. Was made full partner by the time I was 32. Got divorced again. Married a guy with an MBA from Dartmouth.

I was there – but there wasn’t enough for me.

So I started a professional art career. Got eight galleries to represent my art. Landed my art in museums. Wrote a book about art that allowed me to meet and befriend my art heroes and sheroes. Earned six figures from my painting career.

But it still wasn’t enough. 

So I started a blog that quickly grew into a community of souls. I got boatloads of Twitter followers. I got on TV. National magazines interviewed me.  I wrote another book and went on a five month book tour. I gave a TEDx talk. I landed a six-figure deal for my third book. I got up on stage with Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer and Kris Carr and more of my heroes and sheroes. I filled a mentoring program with beautiful visionaries who paid me 10 grand a pop to be guided by me. I got invited to give a second TEDx talk

And yet… my Gremlins tell me I’m still not enough.

I need to launch a telesummit or something so I can grow my newsletter list so I can sell more books so I can hit the NY Times bestseller list so I can make Hay House happy so they’ll give me another book deal so I can keep writing…

I need to make sure my next TEDx talk gets even more views than the nearly 90,000 views my first TEDx talk did. I need to wow the audience at the next Hay House conference in New York in November so they’ll want me to speak at more conferences. I need to fill the next round of my mentoring program in January…

And if Mind Over Medicine hits the bestseller lists when it launches in May 2013, then I need to make sure it stays on the list for months and months. And then – oh my – the pressure to write another bestseller, and to sell even more books so I can get invited to even bigger stages, and – oh my – then I’ll need to own a retreat center where visionary healers and those in need of healing can unite, and then…

It Never Ends

I was meeting with my awesome mastermind group a few weeks ago, and I had this epiphany, that I am now in a business where there is no “there.” I mean even Oprah is probably feeling like she’s not “there” because her OWN network hasn’t been the whopping success everyone expected it to be. In his latest PBS special, Wayne Dyer even confessed to feeling disappointed that Eckhart Tolle and the Dalai Lama beat him on a ranking of spiritual leaders. Wayne Dyer isn’t “there” because there IS no THERE, and he’s f*cking Wayne Dyer!

I’m tired of striving. I’m tired of trying to find validation somewhere outside of myself. I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to spend my whole freakin’ life trying to prove something.

What am I trying to prove?

What are YOU trying to prove?

I AM ENOUGH.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

WE ARE ENOUGH.

Right here. Right now. Just as we are. Nothing to prove.

Say it with me – I AM ENOUGH.

Feel it. Breathe it in. Believe it. Listen to your Inner Pilot Light and know it. Trust it.

You can stop now. Stop doing anything that doesn’t make your soul dance. Keep your ambition but only because it’s in service to your highest good and your deepest pleasure, not because you need to achieve anything more.

You are a valuable, lovable, precious, perfect being, not because of anything you’ve achieved, but because you have a little spark of divinity in you, and that guarantees that you are enough. Who are we to deny our own divinity?

That’s all. I’ll get off my soap box now.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

With a deep sigh,

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54 Comments

  1. KC

    Yes, yes, and yes! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Julie

    Hello Lissa,

    I always enjoy your posts and find you a most refreshing and honest voice and spirit. Your travels and quests are important and your words and actions are starting to convey the woman you are becoming, a tad older and that much wiser. Would you be so wise if you had not attempted all that you have, questioned all that you have accomplished and survived to share with others? You are entering wisdom my dear and it is important to share. Wisdom is acquired through trials and adversity, through questioning and forging your own path, through suffering. Not by sitting idle and watching the world go by but by grabbing your fears and conquering them. To be your mother, I would be extremely proud of you, of your independent spirit and your tremendous inner treasures and wealth. Life is how we perceive it. We are often more than enough. However, we rarely trust ourselves and our instincts. Therefore, we seek outside approval when unsure. We do know deep down we are often whole and more than enough.

    Keep up the good work and please, always stay true to yourself. The world is so much better for having you in it and for sharing what you learn with the rest of us.

    Julie from Ottawa, Ontario

    The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, said:

    “Man.
    Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
    Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
    And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
    the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
    he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

    _________________________________________

    The Fisherman and the Businessman

    There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village. As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish. The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”

    The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”

    “Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.

    “This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.

    The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”

    The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”

    The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman. “I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”

    The fisherman continues, “And after that?”

    The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”

    The fisherman asks, “And after that?”

    The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with your kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”

    The fisherman smiled.

    Reply
  3. Zee Gorman

    “Stop doing anything that doesn’t make your soul dance.” — Well said, Lissa. You’re my inspiration!

    Reply
  4. Teri Conrad

    Lissa ~ You ALWAYS improve my day! Much needed and MUCH appreciated! You’re doing important work and sharing such an important message! Thank you!

    Reply
  5. Colleen

    Lissa,

    Thank you so much for sharing your honest, heartfelt words. I felt my heart open with compassion for you and for myself while reading your post. It seems you are right, we are telling ourselves…what’s the next thing to make me enough. We’ve always been it, but never believed it. Thank you for all your work, words and honesty about all aspects of your life.

    With love, gratitude and appreciation,

    Colleen

    Reply
  6. Gabrielle

    Thousand thanks, Lissa, for sharing that post with the world today. I’ve been and I am witness of many women around me striving to do many things at once. I’m in total admiration toward them because I’m not an overachiever. It’s the opposite for me. Of course, “I’m not enough” because I don’t achieve enough. And it hurts. I logically know it’s a choice I make for me. It’s in my hands to transform this inner chatter that hurts me. I’m doing this to myself by myself! It’s a moment to moment struggle for me with some breathing space, thank goodness! So, yes, even though my “not-good-enoughness” comes from the opposite side of the spectrum, I hug myself and declare “I AM ENOUGH”. (I feel I’ll have to redo this exercise many many times for myself!)

    Waves of Gratitude your Way, Lissa.

    Reply
  7. nina

    You are amazing. Thank you thank you.

    Reply
  8. Dawn

    I want to believe this. I really do. BUT…

    It’s not enough. I can barely pay my bills. And I have these big dreams that aren’t going to come true just by dreaming them. If I just sit back and say “meh” then there are lives I could have changed, but won’t. There are ideas I could have shared, but didn’t. I’ll lay on the sofa watching TV, eating chex mix and ice cream until I’m so fat and unhealthy that I die and they have to cut down a wall to get me out.

    Isn’t there a happy medium? What if I drink my green juice and eat organic, but let myself have a cookie once in awhile?

    Reply
  9. Selena

    You don’t know how much I needed to hear this today!!! You are enough. I am enough. We are enough. Thanks!!!

    Reply
  10. Sarah

    Wow, this is POWERFUL! I was reading all you have accomplished and Wayne Dyre and you ALL not feeling like you’re enough! Wow, this is enlightening! “There is no THERE.” Woooh, well this is enlightening! I was just comparing myself again yesterday and today and I see that my light shines just as bright as others, especially as I align with myself and my truth, my light shines brilliantly! I Do want to DO more adn BE more because I know I have the capacity to do and be more, but I want to do it in a way that feels juicy and good, that feels alive and inspirational and that feeds my soul and spirit, mind, heart and body as it feeds everyone else’s and ALL of life’s for that matter!

    Ahhh, and then the tricky question of how to receive, make a good living so I don’t have to WORRY about money and bills and making it anymore. I am so tired of this! Oh, and I hear, “I don’t HAVE to worry about “making it”.” Hmmm, “relax and open to receive.” Ok. I am relax and open to receive. I am open to receive. I receive. I receive.

    Blessings, Sarah

    Reply
  11. Lissa Rankin, MD

    I hear you Dawn- it’s a fine line. Overachieving lies at one end of the unhealthy spectrum. Underachieving lies at the other. Both are usually fueled by fears of being unworthy, of being unextraordinary, of being not enough.

    Ambition, while ego-fueled, can be healthy. It drives us to shine our light in the world so the world can receive our gifts and we can appreciated for what we bring. But ambition can also become our downfall, if left unchecked.

    What inspired me to write this post was the realization that we must always start with a felt sense of our own worthiness. If we’re unconscious of what drives our ambition- if we’re always seeking outside approval or recognition- we will never be happy or satisfied.

    May we all find approval within so we can follow our dreams for all the RIGHT reasons.

    With gratitude for each of you bright shiny souls
    Lissa

    Reply
    • Dawn

      For some reason, I just can’t get this post out of my head.

      It bothered me that I didn’t suddenly feel enlightened into feeling like I was enough. And it embarrassed me a little that what I thought would be an anonymous rant post no one would read was commented on by Lissa herself.

      Saturday (which should have been my day off) while I was flying 4 hours each way to do 10 minutes worth of work, (just so my boss could prove that he was in charge and enough) I had a lot of time to think about this. And here’s what I came up with.

      No one gives a sh*t.

      I worked a full time job and a part time job while going to graduate school. Finished a 2 year program in just one year plus 1 quarter with a perfect 4.0 gpa. And no one cares. It didn’t get me any more money or any more praise. It didn’t make men stop staring at my boobs and suddenly notice I was smart. And it sure didn’t get me out of having to fly across the country on my day off. (and as a side note, no one cares that my boss is so in charge that he can make me fly across the country just because he said so).

      I live in a judgmental little town where in my second job I work with kids and no matter how good the work we produce is, there is always some mom complaining and some person criticizing. They don’t care that I was up until 3 AM trying to make things look perfect, when I had to get up at 6 to go to work. They don’t care that we have no budget so the $300 we did spend came out of my pocket, just because I couldn’t stand that the kids didn’t have enough.

      My nephew doesn’t care that I had to spend $100 dollars to get the perfect birthday gift shipped overnight on time for his birthday. No one cares that I ran a 5K last week. No one cares that I edited my college newspaper or that I survived an abusive relationship. No one noticed that I lost 20 pounds. (ok, my husband noticed, but it’s not making him want to revive our, um, “romantic” relationship, so what was the point).

      No one gives a sh*t.

      Am I enough? I don’t know. But I do know that yesterday, instead of trying to figure out how I will pay for a conference that I think will help my career, when I have not yet been reimbursed for the $1200 airline ticket from that trip on Saturday. And instead of trying to figure out how to attend that conference 2 hours northwest of home, stay for the whole thing while also ducking out early so that I can swing by my house, put on a gown and pick up my husband on the way to the benefit dinner the same day that is an hour southeast of home (which I volunteered to do marketing and pr and get donations for in my “spare” time)… I drove to dairy queen and had an ice cream before they close for the summer. And I didn’t get the mini size ice cream. I’ll probably regret it later, but no one will care. Just like they won’t really care if I’m at the conference or at the benefit dinner.

      I may or may not be enough. But I’m the only one who really cares if I’m enough or not, so maybe I should take some of the pressure off myself. Because the only thing on my huge to do list that I really want to do is hang out in my back yard with my dogs and enjoy the last few warm days before winter. (And I am enough for them).

      Reply
  12. Suzy Weiss

    Thanks for sharing this most important insight. What I’m learning is we can’t follow our natural flow in life and at same time not be enough or have enough. One cancels the other.

    The bottom line for me is to learn to trust life rather than trust my fear. Still a work in progress for me.

    Reply
  13. Kath

    I began reading this by noticing your accomplishments and, begin a painter and a writer, saw that you are an artist AND a doctor and immediately thought, huh, why did she have to do BOTH? I can’t compare to that…and then I read the post and had a good laugh on me!! Oh to feel enough enough and not want MORE. We want these things partly because we forge our identities out of accomplishing, doing and striving for better. I want to be a published author not just to reach people but because it will make me feel I have contributed something of value. Really, though? That’s my ego need, so it can assuage its shame at not yet having achieved my “potential”. I want to be the fisherman who is content with what is and thoroughly, utterly enjoys his existence and the hell with “potential”. I realize surviving is plenty of struggle and that I must exert effort to do it. But I must decide: isn’t loving well enough? Or being a good person inside and out on a daily basis, being kind to whomever I meet? Part of our task is to discover our own “theres”…

    Reply
  14. Lissa Rankin, MD

    Yes, Kath- I love this:
    “Part of our task is to discover our own “theres”…

    So true. We must determine what success looks like for each of us individually. While I have enough ambition for three people, my ambition will ultimately prevent me from fulfilling my definition of “success,” which is to live a life of unconditional love, with a fully cracked-open heart, and to find whatever measure of inner peace lies within myself so I might help others find the same within themselves.

    It actually has nothing to do with accomplishment…

    Reply
    • Rhia

      Once again, you have “banged that nail right on the head”… for myself and for the thousands and thousands of women in this world that go through “I am NEVER quite there, or never quite where I want to be, or NEVER doing enough for my FAMILY! Those “NEVERS” go on forever, and we tangled into a vast net of “I “need” to do this, that and that other. Then YES I will be “good enough for Mom, Dad, Hubby, Kids, Job, Friends, World”, and then, we are once again knocked back down that “mountain” as I say often, and we find ourselves crawling, climbing, and scratching our way back up. All the while the guilt weighs us down, of the “should have’s”, or “wish I had” done this, that and the other. As I personally deal with this, and due to several chronic illnesses, along with MANY surgeries, from Lupus, RA, knee and shoulder replacements, recent cervical 4 level neck surgery, and believe me the lists goes on, I feel totally like a complete and utter failure. I have failed my Mom, husband, 2 kids, and all around me, plus most of all myself. I want to write a couple of books, Lord knows I have enough material for several, but I fear I will fail with those, I would love to paint again, play the drums and the piano again, I would love to snow-ski one more time, but I am lost in a sea of I must do this one Mom, I must clean, cook, dust, sweep, vacuum, go to the market, and I MUST prove I AM NOT SICK! I must PROVE I can GET OUT OF BED AND THRIVE! But, by the time I have helped, done, went, ran, and completed all of the “need to’s” those things that I feel would PROVE TO ME (I am good enough) seem to fade due to loss of energy, fear I will fail, feeling as if I “don’t deserve to have my own time”, or just plain exhaustion, and not enough time in the day for it all. I so wished I had half the energy of you and so many other women out there. You seem to be able to do all, be all, from professional, to Mother, to Wife, to “Super Lady” for all to see! You do inspire me so much, and then I kind of get sad because I so miss the days I could do more… I could “push” more… I long for ONE DAY life would just give me a break from the medical mess, surgeries medications, tests, doctor after doctor… I just ask to be “normal” whatever that is. I have been so struggling with this as of late. I am trying to figure out why I hold back from writing my book, it is lack of energy and illness, or is it FEAR of will totally FAIL! I feel I have failed since I was a teenager, marriages, Dad, Mom, all… thus I feel I have failed writing a book before I even start and finish it.

      Reply
  15. burqaj

    Lissa,

    Thank you for being so honest and transparent. I thought I was an “achievement junkie”, but if I compare myself to all you have done, I’m a real loser! LOL. It’s amazing to me that your breakdown/perfect storm/spiritual awakening didn’t happen a lot sooner!
    I have always been an approval junkie, the one charging ahead blindly trying to save everyone or fix everything. I am learning that striving for approval, to be “enough” is a hamster wheel and that knowing when it’s time to walk away, knowing how and when to let go, to surrender, is very brave and very healing. Sometimes all that’s needed is to show up. I have learned that healing is not in the doing. The healing is in the be-ing. I have found that when we are moving in the right direction, things flow together, doors open and people show up to help. Magical things happen when we stop the striving and surrender to what IS.

    Reply
  16. Christine

    Fabulous Lissa!
    Thanks for all of you that you share with us.

    Reply
  17. Sandra Joseph

    I love you, Lissa. There is no “there” there, yet I too often still find myself sprinting on the treadmill of achievement to get my hyperactive ego to calm down. When we have the underlying belief that we are not enough, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of working tirelessly to prove our worth. Thank you for the reminder to STOP. I am so grateful for your wise (and always so well written!) words and, as I articulated on the call yesterday, blown away by your transparency. Thank you!

    Reply
  18. zhila

    Lissa,
    I really enjoyed reading your article. This is what I heard: Start with the belief : “I am enough.” Then go into the world and do whatever it is that you do, grounded in that belief. Our inner driver is changed from “needy ego” to “I am enough” spirit.

    With love,
    -zhila

    Reply
  19. Ti

    YES! Oh, yes. The mantra I started using is “THIS is the imperfection.” I don’t like to think of myself as a perfectionist (who does?), so when I don’t measure up or flat out mess up, I tell myself “This is the imperfection that keeps me from being one of those annoying perfectionists. Well done!”

    Reply
  20. wendy

    WOW WOW WOW – GREAT point and “f*ing” (as you said) INCREDIBLY written……… I wonder why is it so many of us have this need to prove ourselves -I am of that tribe, and it is EXHAUSTING.

    Warm regards from awarded Berklee College alumni, Ex recording artist, Ex National Marketing and Sales Exec (global traveler), Certified Aromatherapist, Therapeutic Nutritionist studies, Author “Spenders Vegetable Garden”, now a MAMA, the hardest and most important job of them all – and with that, comes all the pressure of society!!!!!! I will try hard to take your advice…….

    Reply
  21. CaroG87

    Welcome to my world. I’ve been a perfectionist since I was ….. forever. Just since forever. I try so hard to break myself of the overwhelming sensation that I need to be better, stronger, faster, smarter, whatever-er……. I have no idea why I pushed myself so hard. And I’d give anything to tell the world to eff off and to take their hamster wheel with them………….. Trying to figure out how: that’s another story, yet unfinished.

    Reply
  22. Molly

    Lissa

    Usually I think you are a mind-reader, giving me just the extra boost that I need with your blog messages and I think “how did she know that.” But it seems with this post, you and Wayne should follow your own advice. Remember, we are all stewards of the Divine. We do God’s work on earth and He controls our destiny. Why do we feel compelled to strive for more and more when we are to let Jesus be the CEO? Do all works in His name and not in your own then you are enough. You provide a wonderful gift to us all with your writing and stories. Blessings.

    Reply
  23. Sally Gabriel, PhD

    LIssa,

    You could not have said this any better. My mouth was hanging open reading all your “achievements” and worldly credentials, and then reading that you don’t feel like what you’ve achieved is enough.
    No, there is no end to the grasping for MORE in everything. As a group, we have to STOP the madness. I love what you said: there is no “THERE”. We have no place to go.

    Reply
  24. Aili Kuutan

    And I thought I was bad with this : )

    One thing that’s helped me is the realization that practice fuels progress (much healthier than practice makes perfect, don’t you think?). It really is about the journey, not the destination. Thanks for the reminder Lissa.

    Reply
  25. Darlene

    I’m exhausted after reading about all of your accomplishments and I feel so proud of you, as if you were my own daughter. You have the drive and are successful at so many different things. My life has been one disappointment after another – I never went to college, I never married, I never had any children, I don’t have any degrees, I haven’t written a book, etc. In my 50s now, I am still searching for a place where I fit in. I am the square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

    But I have many hobbies – astrology is a passion – and I love animals. I support as many animal charities as possible. And I have taken in many strays. Animals bring much joy into my life.

    And my favorite poster is “Desiderata” and I have a framed copy on my wall that I read over and over again. I would highly recommend getting a copy of it for yourself……..”If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself…….Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself………..You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should…………”

    Namaste

    Reply
  26. Peter J

    Lovely Lissa -BUT Who are you to label it “divinity” ?????

    Reply
  27. Katrina Davy

    Hi Lissa,

    Really enjoyed your newsletter post today. I do agree. I’m reading an amazing book by Tim Costello about his work with World Vision and thinking, “I’m not doing enough.”. But then why I am SO tired as I really AM doing a lot to help this world!

    The other day I sang a blues song- I made up the words. It was so much fun just declaring that I had the blues. The end of term blues. I work with kids, you see. I found it really fun to declare that yep, I’m in a little hole and I’ll sing my way out of it. It’s on my blog page!

    Thanks for writing. I felt inspired to write to you today.

    Katrina 🙂

    Reply
  28. Sussie

    Hi Lissa,
    Gee, i wish i could have accomplished 1/3 of what you have accomplished …and you still think you haven’t accomplished enough (shaking my head from side to side)….part of me thinks this is a joke played by you onto us….or just getting a change / opportunity to run our noses in it …..And then YOU TELL US – no to over achieve – huh – ironic huh?
    if I tried even to accomplishes at least 1/6 of you have accomplished, I would have a lot more money in my hands and account, and be proud as punch (even just to have a professional job)…I would feel a lot better about my life, and be proud of the way I have conducted my life, and what I have achieved in my life!…or would have LOVED the chance (& money) to go a holiday the requires me to go on a plane and stay at a resort and just be pampered by staff ….what a life that would be….

    You are not getting it…….you have achieved A LOT – some people don’t have an education, (let alone two educations) or an art exhibitions, some people have never had a book deals or rub shoulders with high spiritual teachers….
    I am jealous and in AWE of what you have achieved…you just don’t get it how much you already have achieved…..some of us haven’t even lifted off the base pad, even though we are trying to reach for the stars. But you have come close to reaching the moon, with only inches away …..With a little bit more of a stretch, I am sure you could have reached it…..because you already have reached most of your goals and done sooooo much!
    Consider yourself lucky and let some of us still dream and try – as that is all we have ………but I am NOT say let US BEAT OURSELVES OVER IT if we don’t get everything WE TRIED TO ACHIEVE….we are far more precious than that….just count YOUR lucky stars my friend, count YOUR lucky stars……

    Reply
  29. Marlene

    Lissa,

    I appreciate the sentiment of accepting myself as good enough; I really do. That said, reading about all of your accomplishments didn’t make me feel better about myself. Instead, I feel worse.

    Reply
  30. letubu

    The power to be whole already is… It is the truth of allowing who we truly are. Recognition, the “important names”, are not of importance. We all need each other. The picture is much bigger than being on stage or rubbing elbows with so called “big shots”. We are love and that’s enough. So let u b u.

    Namaste Baby!

    Reply
  31. Terry

    Thank you, Lisa! What a wonderful article!

    There is no “there.” Reminds me of a something I heard in a video by Deena and Lanny Morton.
    Trying to get “there” is much like trying to reach the ‘Horizon”….you keep going and going, just a little bit more, just one more time, oh lets go 50 more miles…….but, we will never reach the Horizon! It is impossible to reach or get “there!”

    Thank you for sharing this article with the world! We need to be doing more of what makes our “Soul Dance!”

    Reply
  32. Lissa Rankin, MD

    Dear Marlene,
    I’m sorry that listing my accomplishments left you feeling badly. Clearly, that’s never my intention. I worried about that as I wrote this- in fact, I thought about cutting off the blog post before going into my own story. But then I thought there might be people out there that would think “If only I do _____, then I’ll be THERE.” And I wanted to help people realize that the more you achieve, the higher the bar, unless you say “I’m done and I’m there and I’m enough and I want to get off the rollercoaster.”

    If I’ve left any of you feeling icky, I’m sorry. That’s never my intention.

    My intention is to leave you feeling satisfied with wherever you are on your journey, because really- you ARE enough because you have that spark of divinity within you that you never have to earn. And THAT is enough. I promise.

    Reply
  33. Lynn

    Thank you, Lissa, from someone who spent their entire life believing they were never good enough. It took a long time and I occasionally revert, but for the most part I’m happy where I am now. And I enjoy receiving my daily pep talks through the “Daily Flame.” Thanks again!

    Reply
  34. Kyle Anne

    When I woke up this morning my brain was already buzzing with a long to-do list and even longer list of habits I want to perfect (seriously, hand-written and taped to my desk).

    Then, I read your post and found myself exhaling and just melting all of the pushing that I have a tendency to create. What I’m learning, oh so patiently learning, is that while it’s great to have intentions and to set goals and seek to grow, it’s also just as important and quite possibly more to simply be grateful and humbly aware of all we have accomplished and just are. Because, really, even in our most basic state, stripped of identity, awards, recognition, or degrees we all have such intrinsic beauty and value.

    The reality is, and thank you for this morning’s reminder, is that you’ll get “there” faster if you’re already “there”. So, again a heartfelt thanks Lissa for the reminder and I’m off to happily cultivate a new list: a celebration list of the many reasons I celebrate myself right now.

    ❤ Kyle Anne

    Reply
  35. Sussie

    I go it / I get it – we are enought – as we are – right here right now….BUT…there is alway a BUT – i just wish i could have done things differently sometimes (well that is on my low days, low weeks)

    BUT I GET IT – be happy with what you got – but the ironly is – if we don’t push ourselves we won’t get where we have to get to….but i am gentle with myself —– when i finally stop feeling jealous or in awe of others and their achievements…..I just wish it was ME….that is all……and beating myself up for it – won’t make it happen…i have to make it happen, i know, i know!

    Reply
  36. Ann

    Thanks, Lisa…..I think you are so right on. You’ve done a lot and then it’s like the story of the fisherman, he already has it all! Such a graphic of tha we are truly enough as we are!

    The thing for you and a lot of people like you, is that it’s who you are to do what you do! You can say “enough” anytime you decide. It’s all up to you. If life is passing you by while you write books, get up on stages, ect., then you say “enough”. Maybe this is your life and you totally like it!

    Good luck, your schedule exhausts me just to read!

    Reply
  37. Promita

    Hi Lissa,

    Absolutely love your blogs. They are so inspiring! I have always thought of myself as never being enough.

    Reply
  38. Antonia DeMichiel

    Hi Lissa,

    I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes because your story is my mirror – I’m actually am in a personal development seminar this week where we are doing the deep soul searching work you speak of. I’m done running this rat race of getting the grades, holding two jobs while being a full time college senior, heading a research project on a new initiative at my campus and being the President of a service club that raises thousands of dollars every year to build schools in developing countries. I’ve used all of this busy-ness to prove myself worthy, capable, and loving. There’s a void that no amount of external achievement can fill which is why I’m so grateful that there are other kindred spirits doing this work to figure our selves out. From that place, we can be in service to the world with passion and love, rather than striving.

    Thank you for your authenticity time and time again, especially in cyber space.
    Lots of love,
    Antonia

    Reply
  39. Kim

    Fabulous and timely! You are such an inspiration, even when you are not trying. thank you!

    Reply
  40. Shantini

    Lissa – this is exactly what I needed to hear, right this instant. You are amazing. Thank you so much!!!

    Reply
  41. Maddy Thomas

    Lissa, I’ve been following your site because I’m an MD interested in pursuing a more healthy balanced approach to patient care. Your approach on this topic appears juvenile and self centered. You have accomplished so much and should be very proud. The fact that you don’t feel like enough, in my opinion, reveals that you may have some unresolved deep rooted familial issues preventing you from loving yourself. The fact that you’ve been married three times also may reveal some unresolved issues. Possibly too, you need to do some gratitude work.
    I think the things you’ve accomplished are what’s inspiring about you, and think it’s great to have goals in your 20s and 30s. It’s important for all of us to love ourselves for who we are, but there’s nothing wrong with achievement. In summary, Lissa, are you fu#king kidding me? You’ve done a lot. Practice what you preach and STOP and figure out why you don’t love yourself yet. I want to say to any young readers that YES, YOU ARE ENOUGH… but there’s nothing like achieving set goals. And by the way, Wayne was joking about ego attachment when he was talking about the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle.

    And stop cursing. I know it makes you seem very “real”. My patients loved it when I cursed, because somehow it made me seem more human. I found other ways to reveal my sense of humanity. Your cursing appears as a way to obtain approval. Remember….. you’re already enough. I know Tony Robbins curses, but he is Tony fu#king Robbins. And Mastin is working on lessening his cursing.

    So, take a deep breath and tell yourself you’re enough and stop being a workaholic. Just stop it!

    Reply
    • Julie

      Maddy says it all 🙂
      Great work and now it’s time to rest:-)
      Love Julie xxx

      Reply
  42. Midge

    We are all “enough” everywhere and all the time. Our accomplishments happen as a result of knowing this truth, yours included.
    Thank you, Lissa, for accomplishing your “enough-ness”, and inspiring so many others.

    Reply
  43. Kerstin

    Hi Lissa,

    I absolutely LOVED this post. It was funny how my mind raced through the first part… then REALLY slowed down and took the time to take it all in, with the I AM ENOUGH part. I will put this on my fridge and read it every morning. THANK YOU!

    Love,
    Kerstin

    Reply
  44. Emma

    Thank you, Lissa! I’m more than enough – and so are you.

    Reply
  45. Nadine

    Hi Lissa,

    Thanks for your rant. Wish I could listen and heed. You’re absolutely right, of course, but can’t seem to let go of the gnawing jaws of perceived failure. No book deals, no galleries, no best sellers, no TED. No security. Great husband. Great friends. Wonderful Community. Not Enough. Autumn years are tough.

    The struggle goes on, striving for contentment continues, but I will share this excellent advice.

    Reply
  46. dorothy

    thank you for this article

    Reply
  47. Ami McReynolds

    Lissa – it’s as if you’ve been following me around with a camera for about the past 35 years of my 41 year life. Thank you for this post. I’ve come to realize these past couple of years that when you are immediately thinking about the next big thing, you miss out of the joy of the moment, and you are actually dishonoring yourself by not taking the moment to acknowledge that you are enough.

    Reply
  48. Gemma Munro

    Oh Lissa. God bless you. The fact that you will be working with Martha Beck makes me light up with joy and – well – relief, actually. We’re so lucky to have visionary healers like you.

    Reply
  49. Cat PAYEN

    Hey Lissa love your post and just as I am personally learning from this amazing woman too – httpss://youtu.be/lw3NyUMLh7Y

    Reply

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