When You’re Not Ready…Wait

You know you need to cut out sugar.

A little voice tells you it’s time to get out of your marriage.

You know you should leave your job.

Or quit drinking.

Or lose weight.

Or get into therapy to heal with your childhood sexual abuse.

Or start exercising.

Or stop smoking.

Or step onto the spiritual path.

Or [insert self help action here.]

And yet…you’re not ready. Yet.

You know what must be done. You kick yourself every morning because you’re not doing what you know must be done. But the truth is, you’re just not ready.

The world will pressure you to change. You’ll try beating yourself up, hoping that, in the wake of the beating, you’ll finally do what you know you must.

But darling, don’t you understand that readiness is the one thing you cannot force?

A Meditation of Acceptance

Instead, try this meditation Martha Beck taught me. Just start by taking deep breaths in and out, then add these mantras…

Breathing in, I realize that at this moment, there is nothing I can do to make reality anything but what it is. Breathing out, I allow everything in the world to be as it is, because I cannot change this moment. Breathing in, I accept my sorrows. I allow, because I cannot change this in this moment. I allow all of the circumstances to be as they are in this moment. I offer no resistance to the things I cannot change. I lay down the burden of trying to change anything in this moment. I surrender to allowing reality to be as it is. I will create no more suffering because of my resistance. It’s okay. Allow everything. Accept it, even my non-acceptance. I accept.

A “Change Me” Prayer

If it’s not working to just accept yourself where you are, knowing that you won’t be able to force something until you’re ready, try this prayer, inspired by Tosha Silver’s book Outrageous Openness.

Change me into someone who is ready.

Be Kind To Yourself

Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. You can’t hate yourself into change. You can’t shame yourself into change.

It just doesn’t work. The one way change can happen is if you can love yourself as you are, and then, from that place of love, you can muster up the faith and courage you’ll need in order to do what must be done.

Are You Ready?

Tell us your story in the comments.

Trusting your timing,

PS. My public television special Heal Yourself: Mind Over Medicine airs tonight in Atlanta at 7pm EST! For other air dates, check the schedule here.

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